events in life...

i used to think that there is nothing much happening in my life...nothing much to look forward to etc...but these days i realise something, there are so many things that happens around me which i can look forward, may be there arent any events in my life but there are so many happening around the world...i have just spent two weeks watching winter olympics, now i am waiting for commonwealth games and then world cup...i guess i m lucky coz i am a sports fan...there are always sports events all year round...kind of makes me feel glad...i know watching sports all the time does not serve any purpose...i dont gain anything from it...but what the heck i really do enjoy it...

stupid

I did something really stupid yesterday. i somehow forgot my friend's birthday. He didnt say much, he just said you forgot something...then i realized what i have done. i feel terrible, but i didnt know what to tell him. what can i say to make it up to him...i havent got a clue. he has been with me through all my sorrows and hurts...i just cant believe that i actually forgot. i really feel bad...i m sorry...

here's to not making the same mistake twice...

sometimes as you are going on with your life, you meet someone and u really begin to care for this person, u treat this person somewhat differently and you think that this person is very special... and you begin to believe that you are special to this person too...then years goes by...and the person tells you that s/he has never thought of you as special, just another friend...it is something hard to swallow...it hurts...but there is nothing much one can do about it...so you loved someone who didnt love you...it is not the end of the world...and guess what you are not the only one who has done that...so what shall you do...celebrate life...and a make a toast to "not making the same mistake twice..."

new dateline...

i have been wanting to write so many things these few days but somehow when i sit in front of my pc i just donno what to write. one of the most significant event in my life at this moment is that i have a new dateline...a date where my life might or might not change. lets see what life has to offer for me this time...

pigeon...

i has been quite some time since i posted anything here...today a few pigeons (five to be exact) motivated me to write something...as i was driving from home..basically dragging myself to campus, i saw five pigeons...bathing in a puddle of water...they looked so cute...and they made me smile...God, u never fail to amaze me with all the little things the world offers...hope today will be a great day...

thank you everton...

the best news i got last night was when i heard everton drew with chelsea...chelsea may be one of the best team in the world but guess what...spurs are still holding the record for winning 11 games in a row at the start of a season for like 45 years and we have to wait one more season to see if anyone breaks this record...

i saw a rainbow...i saw a rainbow

the other day, i was in a temple with my parents...after prayers we were about to leave when i looked up n i saw a rainbow...it was so beautiful, everything about it was beautiful, the time, the rainbow and how komtar looked right in the middle of the rainbow...i love rainbows...

thoughts...this morning...

As I was driving this morning, I saw some fascinating things...some made me smile while others made me think...

First of all, I was walking towards my car, I saw a father feeding his daughter...she was so busy playing and running around and the dad followed her and fed her while she was playing...i thought this was very sweet...i donno about the rest of the world but u dont see many father's feeding their child here...or may be I have not not seen this too often...

Then while I was driving, I saw this bird crossing the road and as my car came closer the bird walked faster and started flying...this made me wonder...what do animals see when they see cars... I mean when we cross the road we see a car, a lorry or a vehicle and we react to that...what do animals see??? do they see us like predators or danger or what...I wonder...

walking into one's life...

today i was talking to my friend...we talked about many many things...one of the things about the different people that walk into our lives everyday...we were having a good laugh talking about this...

"some people", my friend said "walk in slowly into our lives, learning little things about us, our lives, our likes, dislikes and eventually becomes part of our lives. Some are so irritating that before they walk in, we slam the door on their face and they never come into our lives at all. there is also a third category...they barge into our lives and create havoc until u either ask them to slow down or throw them out of our lives..."

I thought what my friend said made lots of sense...

having time and wasting it...

yesterday i was listening to my radio while driving...the dj gave some suggestion on how to use one's spare time correctly. he examples such as, if we r waiting for someone in the car, one should use the time well by cleaning the car etc...this way we r not wasting any time...and he was going on and on about how one should waste time just sitting doing nothing in the car etc... i have no problem if anyone wants to use their time well by clearing their car or doing whatever other work they have while waiting...but my question is what is wrong if i just sit there and do nothing or look at people or forget myself listening to favourite song...so what if i spend an hour just doing nothing and dream about everything beautiful that has or will/not happen in my live...what is the craze about saving time and using it wisely...my question is what is the point of saving time if u cant park your car and look at rainbow or leaves falling...then what is the point of l ife or living...

missing...

these few days i have been feeling like i am missing something...there is this feeling of emptiness in me which i cannot relate to anything or anyone...making me feel rather down...last night when i was in bed...i was thinking of this...then it dawned to me that the truth is i just miss being in love...i just miss being important to someone or being needed by someone, i miss the feeling when my tears, laughter, my frustration and my excitement everything meant something to another person...i miss the feeling that i no someone is with me through my journey of life and knows what i am going through...i know it is silly that at the age of 31 i still have this child like fantasies...but i cant help it...and i really miss that...

relationships...

someone asked me today if i have ever been in a relationship, so i asked him again, what difference does it make??? we was quiet for a while, then he said " it doesnt, i guess"...that made me really wonder...as it is i m clueless about relationship...generally i notice people differentiate between relationship and friendship... but are they really different (excluding physical intimacy) are these two really different... i really wonder...

barathi

i must confess i have not read much of barathi's work. i have only read some of his poems...but one thing i notice about his writtings is that he is very much ahead of his time...If I am not mistaken, he died around 80 years ago. he was definately very much ahead of his time...even today people are still not ready to accept some of his ideas...I really wish i can read his biography...but i guess that will have to wait for another day...

relationship...

I have always wondered, why are relationships so difficult...something I have yet to find answers to. However, there are some things about relationships that I have discovered or observed. First of all, relationship comes in all shape and sizes, there is no such thing as defining a relationship. What one considers as relationship might not be a relationship for others and vice versa. Yesterday, as I was watching 'Desperate Housewives' something just hit me...There are two very important variables in a relationship (plus all the other millions of other variables in the relationship). Those variables are the person you are involved with (ie whether that is the right person or not) and of course the quality of a relationship (good relationship or not)...When I say the right person, I am not implying a perfect person or a perfect match (I am too old to think that... :) ), I am just saying a reasonable person who is right for the individual and the same goes for relationship. Perfect relationship do not exists, at least not to me...

Having these two variables are enough to make relationship so complicated...One is lucky if he/she is having a right relationship with the right person, but i donno how often this happens...every other combinations will create problems, tension, etc... I have no idea what I am trying to say or write but somehow it made a lot of sense to me... lol...

top five things...

i have been wanting to write this for a few days now... well the other day while i was driving, my favourite song was played on the radio...the first sound of the song made me really smile and sort of made my day...after that i starting thinking of all the things that make me smile and i wanted to list out the top five things that can make me smile...well, here is the list...in random order...

• rainbow
• strong breeze
• songs...many many songs..
• letters
• and of course...food...my favourite ones of course...

passion...

today i was sitting in my office listening to all my favourite songs only to realise how much I have missed listening to these songs...as i was growing up songs were so much part of my life...not only they were my companion when i was reading or doing homework but in many ways many songs helped me go through my life...either by helping me understand what life is all about (at least that was what i thought at the time) or merely by making me fall in love with how wonderful some people can write or express themselves...i used to be so passionate about songs when i was a teenager...actually i used to be very passionate about many things when i was a teenager...songs, books, language, football, badminton...after many many years i have somehow manage to gain my passion back for football and somehow i feel i have not lost my passion for songs and words...but the others have faded away...i donno y...have i lost interest in them or am i plain lazy to read books or improve my language...i really wonder...

hi again...

it seems ages since i wrote anything in my blog. today i feel so free yet so lost...will it be ok this time round...i know only time can tell...somehow i feel like i have lost the passion for writting at the moment...

the countdown begins...

i have until 30 november 2005...that is my dateline...will my life change by that time. if it does not change i have to figure what to do with my life...will i succeed in doing that ...will i start my long 'on hold' career...what is really going to happen in my life...oh god...please let me know...tik tik tik...

design a website

today, i designed a very simple website to upload all my notes for my statistics class. i am planning to give the students the url and ask them to download their notes from that site. i hope this plan will work without any major problem. i thought this will be easier than distributing the notes to them especially since my class is rather big...but i do feel good about myself after doing this...like i have done something... he he he...

why i hate printing???

i donno what is about me and printing? no matter what there is always something waiting to surprise me while printing my document...first of all no matter how much i check there will always be one table which moves from its position and will be on the wrong place after printing...then comes the mood swings of my printer or whichever printer that i m using...they can really surprise me... :(